The Drode
by Forlay
Summary: Way in the future, Rachel accepts Drode's offer...but not really.


###  Prologue

_The Drode smiled. Cruel. Smirking._   
_ "If you ever find yourself desperate, Rachel. At an end. In need. Remember this: Your cousin's life is your passport to salvation in the arms of Crayak."_

#  The Drode

##  By: Forlay

_Okay, this fight is getting old_, I thought to myself as I instinctively gutted a Hork-Bajir. I'd been fighting for so long, I didn't even have to pay attention to the fight. I didn't care anymore. I won or I lost, did it really matter? Earth was pretty much lost. But, because of my idiot sense of pride, I couldn't just say 'That's it! I quit! No more! Bye-bye! Let the Yeerks come!'   
I looked at my friends. Cassie was leaping from Hork-Bajir to Hork-Bajir, making short work of them. Tobias was harrasing their vulnerable eyes with his beak and talons. Marco was driving his sledge hammer fist into the stomaches of Hork-Bajir who were careless enough to come after him. Ax's tail was flashing left and right. I couldn't see it, but I could see the carnage it left behind.   
And Jake...Jake was clamping his tiger jaws around the throats of Hork-Bajir. Keeping his claws around them just long enough for them to die, then moving on to the next one.   
Alright, that's it, guys! > he shouted, using a Hork-Bajir as a spring board and landing next to me to take a Hork-Bajir that was sneaking up behind me. We're not gonna win this fight, retreat! >   
_Big surprise,_ I thought to myself as I shoved through the Hork-Bajir and lumbered up the stairs and out of the pool. I was right behind Jake, and as I ran behind him, thoughts of hatred filled my mind.   
I thought back to that time, so long ago. 10...11 years. Although time really didn't mean much to me anymore. I remembered when we had gone down to the bottom of the ocean and accessed the pemalite ship, trying to save the Chee. An odd little alien had appeared to us. A servant of the evil being called Crayak. Although I'm probably not the one to be calling things evil anymore.   
The little beast, he called himself...what was it? Something weird...oh, yeah. Drode. Drode offered me a way out of this fight. Just kill Jake. Kill the tiger that was sprinting out ahead of me away from the hellish pit called a Yeerk Pool. I'd go work with Crayak, but I'd be rid of this Yeerk war.   
Rachel! I shouted at myself. Don't even think that! I had made a promise then, and I was going to uphold it. I had limits, I was not a killing machine. That was not me. I would not kill Jake, that was a boundry I wouldn't cross.   
But was Drode's offer still standing?   
_Yes_ a shrill, grating voice said. It wasn't thought speak, but it wasn't regular speach, either. Just a voice in my head. _Yes, Rachel. You're still my favorite 'Animorph', and my offer still stands. Kill Jake, and come with me, with Crayak._   
_ Sorry, that ain't happenin'_ I thought to myself. I kept lumbering up the stairs. But the nagging thought was at the back of my head. I wasn't sure if I was really thinking it, or if Drode was keeping it fresh in my mind.   
_You want this war to be over, Rachel. Kill Jake, you're out of here. Earth's already lost. The Andalites aren't coming back. You are on your own here, get rid of Jake and you'll be out of the fight._   
I was so lost in my thoughts that I never even noticed when we were back in the woods, and everyone had demorphed.   
"Rachel?" Cassie asked me. "You okay?"   
I shook it off and quickly started to demorph. Yeah, sorry. Just thinking about some-- > I was cut off.   
I looked around at my friends, all in their normal shapes. We'd all changed alot since we were kids. We were...God, how old were we? I couldn't even remember. I think we're 25, but don't quote me on that.   
Cassie was still rather short, only about five and a half feet tall. Her hair was longer now, we didn't exactly have access to a hair salon where we could cut our hair. But it was more than her outward appearance that made her seem like a totally different person. Her eyes had a hardness in them. A look that everyone probably thought was reserved for me. I'm the ruthless one in the group, Cassie's the caring one.   
Marco had grown taller, but was still only as tall as Cassie. In rare moments when he's acting a bit like his old self he'd often complain about how he was still one of the shortest in the group. But those moments were rare and far between, and the humor was strained.   
I don't know exactly what I look like anymore, I don't have access to a mirror. But I'm sure I'm a mess. My arms are burned red, from spending my time outside all the time. My hair, what used to be a healthy shiny blond and down to the middle of my back, was now tangled with twigs, down to my waist, and bleached nearly white.   
Jake looks way more than 25. By looking at him, you'd think he was closer to 30-something. He's the same reddish color that I am, thanks to the sun. His hair was down to around his ears, and he has a trace of a beard on his chin.   
So, what are we gonna do now? > Tobias asked from his perch in a tree above us. Tobias looked exactly the same as he had when he first got trapped in morph. There was a terrible downside to the morphing he continued to do. He was going to live forever unless somebody made sure he was dead. Everytime he morphed, then demorphed back to his hawk body, it was returned to the state it had been when he first acquired the hawk.   
"Quit," I said, sitting down against a tree. "Just quit."   
"What?!" Three voices and two thought speak voices said at once.   
"You guys heard me," I said. "I'm sick of this. Earth is lost, why bother to fight anymore? All we ever do is lose."   
"Hey, Xena, that's my attitude," Marco said. "And while sometimes all of us want to quit, it's not gonna happen."   
"Why not?" I demanded. "Why aren't we just going to quit? Why can't--"   
"Chill, everyone, just chill," Jake interrupted. "Rachel, I can't believe you'd want to quit, but if you do, fine. Good bye, and good luck to you. But I suggest thinking about that decision. We're all stressed right now."   
He was right. I didn't _really_ want to quit. And then there was that anger again. Borderline hatred. It was crazy, and I wasn't sure if it was my anger or Drode trying to get me to kill Jake."Okay, Jake. You're right. I don't really want to quit. I'm just stressed," I said. "I'm going on a walk." I got up and walked away.   
I was just out of sight of the group when I heard a rustling in the trees above me. Hey, Rachel. >   
I looked up. "Hi, Tobias."   
Anything wrong? >  
Yep. Where would you like to start? "No, not really."   
But he knows me too well. He fluttered down to a branch eye level with me. Seriously, Rachel. What's wrong? You can tell me. >   
Could I? How would he react to knowing what Drode was offering me? But how much longer could I keep such an awful secret to myself?   
"A lot of things are wrong, Tobias," I said at last. I looked back over my shoulder to see if anyone was in hearing range. "Let's got a bit father into the woods and I'll tell you."   
We moved farther into the woods, far enough so I felt no one besides Tobias would hear what I was about to say.   
"Remember Drode?" I asked him.   
Drode? Of course I do. But what does he have to do with anything? >   
"Everything," I said, and went on to tell him what Drode had offered me so long ago.   
"I'd pretty much forgotten about it...untill today. Jake was just ahead of me as we were escaping the Yeerk pool, and I hated him. Loathed, despised, I couldn't stand him. I remembered Drode's offer...and came so close to acting on it."   
That's why you wanted to quit, isn't it? You know you don't want to kill Jake, but there may be that time when your anger gets the best of you and you may take advantage of the offer. >   
I nodded. "If I"m not fighting with im, I'm less likely to get angry and him, thus less likely to kill him."   
You've kept this a secret a long time...why don't you tell Jake? >   
"Would you want to know that at any minute your cousin could kill you because a better offer came along? Do you think Jake would trust me anymore if he knew what you do about me?"   
Maybe not, but this isn't something you should keep to yourself. >   
I shrugged. "Maybe you're right. But don't tell anybody about this. Please?"   
of course I won't, Rachel. >   
"Thanks."   
"Ooohh, Xena and Bird-Boy sittin' in a tree," a voice from behind us sang.   
I spun around. "You're a dead man, Marco!" I sprinted after him.   
He was too short to run really fast, I caught up with him easily and pinned him on the ground. "How much of our conversation did you hear?" I demanded.   
"Nothing," he said.   
Since he was on his stomach, I grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. "You sure about that?"   
"Ow! Okay, I heard you tell Bird-Boy not to tell anybody something."   
"Will you two be quiet?" Jake demanded. "Or do you want all the Yeerk forces on Earth to some down on us?"   
I jumped up off Marco's back. "Yes, sir!" I joked. It felt like old times for a minute, but reality snapped back harshly.   
"Oh, Raachelll."   
"What the..." I said, looking around. Everything was frozen. Absolutely no sound...except that voice. That shrill, grating voice that was all too familiar.   
"Drode," I said flatly.   
"In the flesh," he said, appearing before me.   
"Waht do you want?"   
"Do I need a reason to see you?" he asked.   
"I repeat, what do you want?"   
"Just wanted to see first hand how you're dealing with the possibility of leaving this war."   
"You know my answer, Drode. I will never kill Jake," I said coldly.   
"Perhaps not purposefully," Drode taunted. "Be careful, Rachel,or you may kill Jake whether you want to or not." With that, he was gone.   
Cassie was looking at me, concerned. "Rachel? Everything all right?"   
I sighed. Now was as good a time as ever to tell everybody. And then nobody would be able to question my motives for wanting to leave. I didn't want to chance killing him. "No, Cassie, everything isn't all right. You guys all might want to sit down for this, it's a long story." I took a deep breath and began to tell them everything Drode had offered me.   
"And why didn't you tell anybody about this sooner?" Jake demanded. "Specifically, me?"   
"Would you have trusted me to do anything if you knew this earlier?"   
"Of course I would have. But now I'm supposed to allow you to do anything know that if I do anything to get you mad, I could very well end up dead?" He was begining to raise his voice, very un-Jake. "If just one of us had known earlier, we could have done something!"   
"Jake, do you know how hard this has been for me?" I asked after a moment. "That is the biggest secret I've ever had, and I've had to carry it with me everyday for 11 years. It's not the kind of secret you tell during truth or dare!"   
"But you don't keep secrets when someone's life is at stake!"   
"Jake, your life isn't at stake," I said, trying hard to stay calm. "I will not kill you, or anyone else. I'm quitting, and am going to stay far away from all of you. I'm not going to risk killing anyone."   
"Rachel..." Cassie started, but I interrupted her.   
"I'm not going to change my mind, Cassie, so don't even try."   
"All right, Rachel. I can respect your decision. But can you postpone it for awhile? We need you for one more mission." I saw Jake shoot her an angry look. "Jake, we need her for one more mission. And if we do everything the way you were saying, you won't even be in her group."   
"Someone mind including me in this conversation?" I asked. "I'll stick around for this last mission, if you really need me, and then I'm gone."   
"Fair enough," Cassie agreed. Jake started explaining the plan.   
"We've learned through Erek that the Yeerks are moving into the mountains. Close to the Hork-Bajir. We're going up there to stop them. One group will attack straight out, the other will go get a small army of Hork-Bajir and come help the other group."   
"I don't see why I'm specifically needed for this," I said.   
"You're right, Rachel. You aren't really needed,"Jake said. "Guess you can leave now."   
Jake was not taking this well. He wasn't acting like himself. I was about to tell him off when Cassie interrupted.   
"She _is_ needed, Jake," she insisted. "We need her elephant morph. Tobias, Ax and I are all needed in different forms, otherwise we could do it without her. But since an elephant morph is needed to get through some areas, she's sticking around. Deal with it." Jake looked like he wanted to argue, but kept his mouth shut.   
"I'll stay for this mission," I decided. "But once it's done, I'm gone. When's this going down?"   
"As soon as everyone's up to it," Jake said. "The sooner, the better."   
I looked around at everyone. We were pretty wiped from the battle we'd had in the Yeerk pool earlier. However, I got the feeling, at least from Jake, that I wasn't the most welcome person, and the sooner I was gone, the happier they'd be.   
"Whenever everybody else is ready, I am," I said. The others nodded in agreement.   
"Why don't we go now, then?" Jake said. "Morph birds, once we're up there we can see exactly how we're going to do this."   
We all quickly morphed birds of prey and started towards the mountains.   
Several hours and several breaks to demorph later, we arrived in the mountains.   
"About a mile that way," Jake said while pointing to his right, "Is where the Yeerks are setting up. Half a mile back that way," he pointed to his left, "are the Hork-Bajir. Ax and Tobias? We're going to get the Hork-Bajir. The rest of you, go after the Yeerks."   
"We need your elephant morph to get through this underbrush, Rachel," Cassie explained. "Marco and I will follow."   
"Let's do it," I said and began morphing elephant.   
As I was doing that, Cassie was morphing wolf, Marco was going gorilla, Jake was morphing tiger, since it'd be the fastest way for him to get to the Hork-Bajir valley, Tobias and Ax would be staying themselves.   
Everyone was finished morphing when it happened.   
I was finished with the morph except for my tusks. I felt my teeth run together and suddenly shoot out of my mouth. So suddenly, that there wasn't time to shout a warning.   
See, my tusks didn't just grow straight out. They grew down then bent up. But as they shot out...Jake got in the way, and was impaled.   
Oh, my God! > I shouted.   
Jake! > Cassie cried. Jake! Morph out! > she and I were both demorphing at top speed.   
She was finished before I was and knelt beside Jake's massive, bleeding body.   
"Jake, Jake. Come on, demorph!"   
Cassie...I ...I can't... >   
"Yes, you can!" I said, fully human. "You're not going to let Crayak win!"   
Rachel...I'm sorry...I'm not angry with you. And Cassie...I love you. >   
"I love you, too," Cassie said tearfully. Once she said that, Jake took one final breath and died. "Jake? Jake! NO!" Cassie cried. She laid her head down on his kneck and cried into his fur.   
I felt like crying myself. Not only because Jake was dead, but because I had killed him. Drode's prophecy had come true: I had killed Jake.   
I couldn't be there anymore. I had to get away from everyone. From Cassie's mournful sobs and Jake's tiger body. I turned away and ran as fast as I could. But before I could get far, I was standing before a giant red eye. Crayak. Next to him was Drode.   
I'd met Crayak before. He'd terrified me. As in I wanted to run away crying for my mommey terrified. But this time I looked at him with cool cofidence.   
"How could you?" I asked emotionlessly. "How could you kill him in cold blood like that?"  
"Who killed him, Rachel?" Drode asked. "Because, if I'm not mistaken, I believe he was impaled with your tusk."   
"It's not my fault!" I pointed a finger at Crayak. "You, Crayak, will bring Jake back and let me go."   
"I'm aftraid I can't do that, Rachel," Crayak answered. "Jake is dead. You and your friends cheated me from his death once, that's not going to happen again. And do you really think your friends would accept a murderer?"   
"I'm not a murderer!" I screamed. "I didn't kill Jake! That was you, all YOU!" I fell down to my knees crying.   
Drode came over and put his scrawny arms around my shoulders. "There, there, Rachel."   
"Get away from me you piece of crap!"   
But he didn't. "Shhhh, everything will be all right. You're with Crayak now."   
I stood up and looked at Crayak again. I no longer hated or feared him. Why should I? I was one of Crayak's children now.

***

I looked in the mirror Crayak had provided me. He had given me an entire house, all for myself, as a reward. I was on of his 'elite' warriors. A group he was building to replace the howlers we...no, Jake and the Animorphs, had destroyed so long ago.   
My hair was healthy again. Shiny and well conditioned, cut evenly so it came to the middle of my back. My skin was dark tan, the last world I'd fought at had many tropical beaches. Once I'd carried out Crayak's will I spent some time at the beach.   
I wore a simple black leotard, but this one covered my legs and arms. In battle I morphed, and I couldn't be getting tangled up in my clothes all the time.   
"Oh Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachellllllllllllllll. Come out, come out wherever you are!"   
I sighed. Drode. He was my 'brother' not, but I couldn't stand him.   
"What do you want, Drode?" I shouted.   
"It's not what I want," he said, "but what Crayak wants. He sent me to find you. He has an important assignment for you."   
In a flash, I was standing before Crayak. "Yes?"   
"I want you to go to Earth. See your old 'friends'. And off them the same opportunity you were given," Crayak said.   
"For what price?" I asked. Crayak's gifts always came with a price.   
"Oh, I don't think they need to pay. They've paid with their soulds, already. They should be given the opporutnity to join us."   
"As you wish, Crayak," I said, and instantly sent myself to Earth.   
I found the remaining Animorphs hiding in a cave. They were a pathetic rag-tag bunch. Marco and Cassie huddled around a dying fire, Tobias was resting on a log. The Andalite wasn't in sight. Dead, perhaps? One could only hope.   
Tobias looked in my direction. Rachel?! >   
Marco and Cassie looked up at me. "Rachel!" Cassie shouted. She ran towards me, Marco and Tobias were close behind her.   
When Cassie reached me she wrapped me in a hug. I stiffened and backed away. "Rachel? What's wrong?"   
What's wrong? I suddenly wasn't myself anymore. At the sight of the people who once were my friends, I began to feel something towards them. That couldn't happen. I couldn't do Crayak's bidding if I felt something. "I'm not here for a reunion," I said as coldly as possible. "I come with a message. And offer."   
"Later," Marco said. "Where have you been for six months?"   
"With my master. Crayak."   
Cassie and Marco stepped back. "Crayak?" Cassie asked in disbelief.   
"What's so hard to believe about that, Cassie?" I taunted. "You knew I was going to go with Crayak once I'd..." I searched for the proper words, "disposed of Jake."   
She stepped back farther, as if I were something evil that couldn't be touched. "Where is Rachel? What have you done with her?"   
for just a moment I felt another emotion. Remorse. I was sorry for what she'd gone though. I felt tears well up in my eyes. "Cassie?" I asked in a frightened voice. A voice I hadn't heard in years. "Cassie...help me..." My knees buckled. I passed out.   
When I woke up, I found myself in the cave near the fire. A hawk, Tobias, was peering over me. She's awak! > he shouted when I opened my eyes. Cassie and Marco rushed over.   
"How're you feeling?" Cassie asked as she helped me to sit up.   
"Like crap," I answered. "Did I call Crayak my master?" she nodded. "I think I'm going to be ill."   
"What did he do to you?" Marco asked.   
I struggled to remember what had happened. "When...when I ran away after Jake's death, I only got a few feet before I was taken to Crayak. I remember I met him with indiference, which scares me now. In the six months I spent with Crayak, I never knew a moment of fear.   
"Anyways, at first I cursed Crayak out. I was P.O.'ed, naturally. First he caused Jake's death, then he abducted me. He...he called me a murderer. I insisted I wasn't and broke down crying. Drode came over and comforted me." I shuddered at the memory of Drode's tiny arms around me. "And when I looked back up at Crayak I felt...nothing. I was one of Crayak's children." I started to cry.   
Cassie put an arm around my shoulder. "You don't need to tell us anymore, Rachel. We can guess what happened from there."   
I wiped my eyes. "No, you can't. Do you know how many sencient speiciew were exterminated by my hand? Eight. I helped commit genocide against eight sentient speicies. That's like half the species the Howlers killed in centuries, and it took me half a year."   
That wasn't you, Rachel, > Tobias said. That was a servant of Crayak, not you. >   
"But don't you get it? It _was_ me. I was a servant a Crayak. I'm sure I still am. And he will most likely destroy me for this. Crayak doesn't take failure well."   
Marco was about to say something, but I found myself standing before Crayak. And I was afraid.   
"What have you done, Rachel?" he demanded.   
"N-n-nothing," I stammered.   
"You don't want to lie to me," he threatened.   
"They...they tricked me! It's not my fault! Please, take me back!"   
"No, Rachel. You must pay for your actions." I was suddenly back in the cave. And I knew that I was no longer under Crayak's power.   
"Rachel?" Marco was saying. "Hellooo? You still with us?"   
I smiled. Not an evil smile, a real, happy smile. "Yes, Marco. I am."

###  Epilogue

Tobias, Cassie, Marco and I fought together for another six months. Ax had died in battle a month or so before I returned.   
During those last six months, I fought harder than I ever had before. I think I was trying to redeem myself. I'd fought for evil for a long time, now it was time to fight against it again.   
After six months, the Andalites came. They fought the Yeerks, the Yeerks left. Yipee. But over one billion humans were caught in the crossfire. One billion human lives were lost. 100 million more people went insane. Because of their new freedom, lost loved ones, or both.   
Marco, Cassie and I were each given houses by the remains of the American government.. Tobias became a _nothlit_ again. This time as a human. Unfortunatly, he still had his 13 year old body. He moved in with me.   
On rare occasions, I find myself thinking about the time I spent with Crayak. Jakes death, the specie I helped destroy, and, finally, my return to life. My life. It was a terrible time, but I think I'm a better person because of it. I have an appreciation for life that I never did before. And I know that friends, true friends like Cassie, Tobias and even Marco, are the most valuable things in the world. And nothing, not even pure evil like Crayak, can destroy friendships like that.

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